Just wanted to start today's post by wishing my boyfriend a Happy 8 Month Anniversary. We are so cute and young lol He is another wonderful and beautiful story that we will get to soon.
Last night we had everyone over for my Mommom's birthday. "Everyone" included my dad's side of the family- Mommom, Uncle Kevin, Aunt Karen, Aunt Kelly, Aunt Kathy and their significant others and children. I have the most wonderful family ever. Having parties with them has always been my most favorite thing in the whole world. I am so close with my aunts that I spent my 21st birthday out with them, my mom and my mommom. Best 21st birthday ever! Anyway, this party was different though. There were a few people missing for different reasons.
My Uncle Joe, my dad's brother, has cancer and we just found out that is has metastasized, which means, moved to other parts of his body. Very complicated parts and Dr. Abraham at Thomas Jefferson, my dad's doctor believe it or not (Dr. A had brother patients for awhile), is not sure what the next step is. Of course we are all thinking the worse because it's not the greatest news. Uncle Joe has an even more rare cancer than my dad did so we are all nervous to hear his "options". My sweet and handsome Uncle Joe did not come last night. Naturally my uncle didn't feel comfortable coming to my dad's home after his recent death and after his recent news. My dad's other brother Mike stayed with my Uncle Joe last night to help support him and to make him feel better. Again, best family ever. So two of my favorite people were not there. Well, make that three.
The light that used to be lit within me, because I am a Daly, has been put out by the devastating loss of my father. I am always very outgoing and just always excited about everything. My aunts always say, "Oh yeah, because Megan doesn't get excited about anything." There is usually laughter and hugs after that joke. lol Lately though my friends and family have been asking me, "Why are you so quiet?" My response last night was, "I think that is just who I am now." I come from an amazingly fun, respectful and kind family. They have all helped to mold me into the Meg Daly that I am. I think I'm in there somewhere, but it's too dark to find my way out. My light has been burned out. After everyone left and everyone went to bed is when I got upset. It is so scary and devastating feeling like you don't know who you are anymore. I have never felt more lost. I spent 23 years, with the help of my family, figuring out who I am. When my dad got sick, everything changed. When my dad got his final diagnosis everything changed. When my dad died on my 25th birthday, everything changed again.
"
I've lost a grip on where I started from
I wish I'd thought ahead and left a few crumbs
I'm on the hunt for who I've not yet become
But I'd settle for a little equilibrium
"
- Sara Bareilles
Last night we had everyone over for my Mommom's birthday. "Everyone" included my dad's side of the family- Mommom, Uncle Kevin, Aunt Karen, Aunt Kelly, Aunt Kathy and their significant others and children. I have the most wonderful family ever. Having parties with them has always been my most favorite thing in the whole world. I am so close with my aunts that I spent my 21st birthday out with them, my mom and my mommom. Best 21st birthday ever! Anyway, this party was different though. There were a few people missing for different reasons.
My Uncle Joe, my dad's brother, has cancer and we just found out that is has metastasized, which means, moved to other parts of his body. Very complicated parts and Dr. Abraham at Thomas Jefferson, my dad's doctor believe it or not (Dr. A had brother patients for awhile), is not sure what the next step is. Of course we are all thinking the worse because it's not the greatest news. Uncle Joe has an even more rare cancer than my dad did so we are all nervous to hear his "options". My sweet and handsome Uncle Joe did not come last night. Naturally my uncle didn't feel comfortable coming to my dad's home after his recent death and after his recent news. My dad's other brother Mike stayed with my Uncle Joe last night to help support him and to make him feel better. Again, best family ever. So two of my favorite people were not there. Well, make that three.
The light that used to be lit within me, because I am a Daly, has been put out by the devastating loss of my father. I am always very outgoing and just always excited about everything. My aunts always say, "Oh yeah, because Megan doesn't get excited about anything." There is usually laughter and hugs after that joke. lol Lately though my friends and family have been asking me, "Why are you so quiet?" My response last night was, "I think that is just who I am now." I come from an amazingly fun, respectful and kind family. They have all helped to mold me into the Meg Daly that I am. I think I'm in there somewhere, but it's too dark to find my way out. My light has been burned out. After everyone left and everyone went to bed is when I got upset. It is so scary and devastating feeling like you don't know who you are anymore. I have never felt more lost. I spent 23 years, with the help of my family, figuring out who I am. When my dad got sick, everything changed. When my dad got his final diagnosis everything changed. When my dad died on my 25th birthday, everything changed again.
"
I've lost a grip on where I started from
I wish I'd thought ahead and left a few crumbs
I'm on the hunt for who I've not yet become
But I'd settle for a little equilibrium
"
- Sara Bareilles